In Celebration of the Codger

The Fat Man is Coming! In other words, Christmas is just around the corner and Santa Claus is coming to town. You would think after all these years; he might be sick of the routine and would get a little crabby. But somehow and someway, the old guy keeps coming and always maintains a smile. I haven’t actually seen him and I don’t know if he really is jolly, but I will believe and keep the legend rolling. But, that is another story for a different day. Speaking of the old guy in the red suit, that brings me to my point.

This month, I am pondering all “old guys” (and gals, but you don’t refer them as old, but rather selectively seasoned) and just what they mean to us. This is particularly poignant to me because I am one of them. I don’t like to admit it, but it is true. If you young whippersnappers will look very closely at our club and community, you will notice something very distinct. Generally speaking (meaning most of the time this is true, but not one hundred percent universally true), the seniors are doing most of the work. They are on the board, they are teaching the classes, they attend the conservation meetings, and on and on. We need to be very appreciative and tell them thanks for all the hard work.

Now, I must admit, we old guys can be cranky sometimes. We can be hard headed, ornery, stubborn, rude, eccentric, and the list goes on. Bottom line – we don’t mean nothing by it. It just kind of works out that way. I remember years ago when my grandfather was in his last days and I went to see him just before he passed. He was a tremendous outdoorsman – a fisherman and a bird hunter and was passionate about conservation. He was not feeling well toward the end and was really quite crabby. He expressed tremendous regret to me about his disposition and I was sympathetic due to his condition. I told him that he had lived an amazing life of integrity and generosity and service to others and that the accumulation of his good deeds far outweighed anything that he was suffering through at the end. And that is how it is and will be. He was an inspiration to many and still is.

My point – you old codgers (term used affectionately) have earned the right to be like that. Some of us may not like it, but we have to put it in perspective. They have fought the wars – WW2, Korea, and Viet Nam – that have provided us freedom. They have built the country that gives us so much back. We have streams and lakes to fish because they have fought hard for it. They have worked hard and saved for retirement. They have raised children, grandchildren, and in some cases great grandchildren. They volunteer lots and lots of their time for all of our benefit. They don’t have to, but they do. Are they perfect? No. Have they made a difference? Yes. Should we love them? Absolutely…in spite of themselves.

So, here’s to you Mr. Think I am Always Right, Do As I Damnwellplease, Wear Weird Clothes and Doesn’t Care Guy. Let’s crack open an ice cold Bud Light (or whatever your choice of adult beverage is). Thanks for everything! Keep up the great work. Happy Holidays…The Fat Man is Coming and let’s hope he’s jolly this year. And, if he’s not, let’s still embrace him.

You think about that. TL

Taking Care of Business (In a Natural Way)

“The wildlife and its habitat cannot speak. So we must and we will.” - Theodore Roosevelt

Indeed, we must speak for the environment and its conservation. If we don’t who will? As important as speaking on its behalf is, the rubber hits the road when we do something. It is not what you say…it is what you do that really matters.

Bottled water…can we talk? I am putting a plea out there to run yourself down to your neighborhood outdoor store and spend seven dollars on a Nalgene bottle that you can use again and again and again and again. For less than the price of a case of bottled water at the local grocery store, you will have a lifetime supply of good water. The instructions are difficult to understand, but here goes: Fill…Refrigerate…Drink…Wash…Refill…Repeat…If you live in a place where the water supply is good (St. Louis has some of the best water quality in the United States according to some) then you really have no excuse, other than whatever excuse you might have. I am requesting you to consider conserving water. In the past 10 years, sales of bottled water have gone up to $10.6 billion. Those bottles are made from petroleum derivatives and it takes a whole lot of diesel fuel to ship that stuff around the country. In other words, the majority of the cost wrapped up in a bottle of water is packaging and freight. You can save money and help the conservation effort all in the same gulp. Your call…

God forsaken shopping malls…is it my imagination or have they paved paradise and put up a parking lot. I was driving through town this morning and I could not believe the amount of development of new malls on top of the old malls. Shop here, shop there…it all began with the original outdoor shopping mall at The Plaza in Kansas City. Then we had strip malls everywhere. Then we went to the cutting edge indoor mall capped off by the world’s biggest indoor mall – The Greater Mall of America in Minneapolis, Minnesota including a roller coaster and ice rink indoors. People would actually vacation there…are you kidding me? Now we are back to outdoor lifestyle malls (a lot like the original in Kansas City). If we evolve far enough, maybe there will be no malls again. One can only hope.

Cigarette trash…Hey, I have no problem with people that want to smoke…they are your lungs. I have been known to puff on a cigar with my single malt…to each his own. However, I have a news flash for you smokers – that filter at the end of your cig made from space age materials (cleans out that tar and nicotine so you don’t get quite the buzz…Camel unfiltered were my choice back in the day) is not biodegradable – it is trash! Please don’t toss it someplace that it shouldn’t be – the woods, the stream, the street, the grass, my driveway, and on and on. I see more empty packs of cigarettes and butts lying around than just about any form of litter and it really grinds on me. You don’t know what to do with those butts, you say. That is your problem…don’t make it mine.

Okay, enough ranting for one column. What can you do about it? A great place to start is the Mill Creek project – The Bohigan Conservation Area in the beautiful Missouri Ozarks. You can donate your time and you can donate your money. You can’t afford it? I challenge each and every one of you who have not given to the cause to give FIVE DOLLARS. Just one fin.

You think about that. TL

An Insult for Everyone

My highly random thoughts this month are not at all about fishing, but they were inspired by a recent fishing trip. I thought this month I might go after a couple of different groups. What I anticipate happening is a price put on my head for my assassination. I will go into hiding when this column hits the newsletter and my good friends will wonder what happened to me. In the event that you think I am just paranoid (and I may be…wouldn’t you be paranoid if someone had a hit out on you), when you see who I am going after, you will understand.

First of all, it is important for you to understand that for many years I wanted a truck with four-wheel drive. For a large variety of reasons, I was never at a place in life that I could get one. Whether it was raising kids, work, budget, and on and on and on, I always had an excuse for myself. Then I came to a place in my life where I took the advice of Ferris Buhler, and I just said, “What the #&*!” and was done with it. I got my four-wheel drive and I haven’t looked back since. I feel like a kid in a candy store.

Having said that, I am firmly convinced that getting a four-wheel drive immediately decreases the IQ of that individual. Let me explain. I was out this past weekend on one of my favorite spring creeks that winds through some farmland about an hour from my house. I am able to get access to the water and the stream has some nice smallies and some pretty stubborn pan-fish in it. It had rained the day before and was sprinkling lightly that afternoon. The road that runs down to the valley was pretty muddy and I parked at the top of the hill and walked. I needed the exercise anyway. I had been out all afternoon hiking and fishing (and thoroughly enjoying myself) and had the good fortune of encountering a beautiful white-tail buck, a beaver, a mother wood duck, some red-tailed hawks, a beautiful blue indigo bunting, and even a few fish. I was on my way back to my truck and I ran into a guy and his two daughters in an old four wheel drive jeep. He had just gotten stuck in some mud (about a foot deep) and he told me he couldn’t believe it – after all, his vehicle was four-wheel drive. Duh.

You also have the Midwest snow or ice storm scenario where you are driving on the edge in a snow storm (maybe 45 to 50 miles per hour) and Joe Four-Wheel Drive comes by you going 85 miles per hour and a few miles up the road you see Joe in the ditch. Joe is scratching himself on the head and saying to himself, “Myself, I thought this was four-wheel drive…how did I end up in this ditch?” Duh. Point made. Memo to all four-wheel drive vehicle operators – you still have to drive intelligently…you do have an edge over those two-wheel drive sedan folks, but you are not driving a tank or a Humvee. Enough said.

Now, I move on to another American icon – the HOG style motorcycle. Vroom, vroom, vroom. On the way home from my fishing trip which inspired my attack on the four-wheel drive thing, I was a stoplight in a small town and a group of Harleys pulled up next to me at the intersection. While I was waiting for the light to turn green, they proceeded to show me how loud their engines could be and I was quite impressed. Actually, to be more accurate, it made quite an impression on me. When I was younger I rode motorcycles and it really is a blast. There is a sense of freedom that does not have much compare. However, I really don’t want to be subjected to your over the top dose of noise pollution. Hey, HOG folks; if you have an issue with size, they have medication and devices to help you with that. Keep it to yourself…the world will be better off for it. You do your thing and I will do mine…just try to not be so damn noisy.

Now that I have attacked four-wheel drive trucks and motorcycles, I should move on to mom and apple pie. However, I don’t want the price on my death to go to unnecessary heights. I am going to share a condo with Samon Rushdie until things cool down. I will be looking out for black helicopters. I might wear a hat, and dark sunglasses. I might even get one of those fake mullet ball caps so I can really travel incognito. I might just have to head out to the woods and live off of the land for a while. There are worse things in life. Who’s paranoid? I am not paranoid. They really are coming after me. But I know how to deal with it. I just need to go fishing.

You think about that. TL

A Melting Pot Are We

Recently, at a couple of our meetings, I noticed a young whippersnapper entering the meeting late and sneaking quietly into the back of the room with a backpack. He unpacked his tying vise and materials, set up camp, and proceeded to tie flies on how own. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. He even continued to tie when the lights went out. He was tying flies by feel…he could have been a blind man the way he was spinning…I was inspired. I knew I was watching something very special. I don’t know his age (I might guess 14 or 15) and I don’t even know his name. But, I can see his heart…and he has lots of it. In a way, I am envious of his passion, but more importantly, I am moved by it. Thank you, young man.

And so, this event got me randomly thinking (which I happen to be rather proficient at…now they call it ADD or something like that, but back in my day, they just called it “squirrelly”) about the joy of fly tying. One of the unique aspects of our sport from other sports and activities, is the fact that we can be engaged in the “building” of the stuff that we use for our activity. There are a few other sports where people build the things they use (bow and arrows, an occasional lathed baseball bat, etc…but far and few between) but fly fishing has significantly more folks involved in the building of rods and the tying of flies. We become part of what we are doing. Not all fly fishermen tie their own flies and even less build their own rods (not to mention the narrow universe of bamboo rod builders) but overall, it is a fair amount.

Tying your own flies and catching a fish on a fly you tied is a very profound experience – at least it is for me. The first time I did such, I actually had a tear in my eye (but don’t tell anyone lest they think I am a sissy). I think this is a big deal. It drives commitment for the fly fisher person and gives you a personal investment in the sport. When you commit to fly tying, you are truly investing in yourself and it can be a life changing thing. There was a day, many moons ago, when you could not buy a commercially tied fly. You had to tie your own. Not only that, but you had to find the stuff that you were going to tie with. You used whatever in the heck you could get your hands on. The craft has been handed down, like a baton, from generation to generation and the exchange of ideas never ceases. Tying is a complete world unto itself within the sport of fly fishing. It creates a connection between people that transcends so many other things. That, my friends, is a good thing.

To the outsiders looking in, we probably look a little strange, sitting there in our hunch, spinning materials. And, let’s face it, the guys that wear the x-ray vision bi-focal magnifier helmets to tie size 42 midges look a little odd to someone not in the know. However, in the fly tying world they are the coolest of cool and us fly tiers actually look on them with jealousy and lust. It is a fly tier thing, you wouldn’t understand. If you tie, you get it…but if you don’t, admittedly we look weird. But the fire burns within. It is a little bit of art, a little bit of science, and for me, it beats sitting on the psychiatric couch. It really is therapy for me.

Like everything else, we fly tiers are a mixed bag of differences. This eclectic group has purists, progressives, radicals, traditionalists, dabblers, and die-hards, and a little bit of everything else. But, show up to a tying event, and you will see a group of friends with something in common having a damn good time. You might think about joining in if you haven’t yet. My mama knew what she was doing when she named me. Now, I just have to work hard to earn the name.

You think about that. TL

Chix Flix

I am one of those guys that is not a big fan of going to a “Chick Flick” with my gal. I might have an ulterior motive when I do go, but I would never say that out loud (at least not with my gal around). But given the opportunity to have a root canal without anesthesia or watch a Chick Flick, I will choose Option A. It has to do with a trauma I experienced as a small child, but that is a whole other story.

Over the past 30 years, I have seen two Chick Flicks that were absolutely worth the effort. I would ask that you not tell any of my friends this confession. The first was the movie Chocolat, and it was a wonderful story about the human experience, love, grace, forgiveness, redemption, and cautions about being judgmental. If you have not seen that one, do yourself a favor and rent it (or for you forward thinking tech-heads, download it from Apple i-tunes or have it delivered by Netflix). But that movie has nothing to do with my comments this month. However, I recently attended the movie, Miss Potter, with my gal and I anticipated nothing but a miserable experience. I had promised I would take her and I had every intention of honoring that promise and I did. We went to the theatre, bought tickets, took my medication, sat in my seat and fastened my seatbelt for the ride.

The movie, Miss Potter is the true story of the children’s book author, Beatrix Potter, set around the turn of the 20th century in England. You may know her for her famous character Peter Rabbit. Not to bore you with too many details, but she is a single women, still living at home with her affluent “society” parents at age 32, and she has a passion for writing and illustrating children’s books in a time when women did not get their books published. She traipses around London, trying to convince the old, stodgy publishing houses to print one of her books and one firm agrees to print a small run of them to appease her. Leap forward in time and Miss Beatrix Potter becomes one of the best selling children’s book authors of all time. Her wonderful publications literally fly off the shelves.

Anyway, what she is able to do with her fortune is buy a beautiful farm in the Lake District, which she names Hill Top. She keeps it alive as a working farm and helps to protect the area from “new development” by the city folks. She continues to acquire farm after farm (from struggling and retiring farmers) much to the chagrin of the developers – she essentially outbids them and they don’t like it one damn bit – and helps the farmers to stay gainfully employed. She later sets up a conservation trust and creates an arrangement that will protect the area for farming for generations and helps to stave off overdevelopment. The movie is a great story about life, love, and dealing with hardship, following your dreams, believing in yourself, and giving back. I was inspired and dead wrong in my outlook on what to expect from this film. Get your hands on it and watch it if you get a chance. She was a visionary and champion of conservation long before others had even thought about the idea.

Fast forward the clock to a recent story involving one of our club members, Dr. George Bohigan and his recent deal with the state of Missouri and his family property. The details of this story have been covered elsewhere, but just know this – we just picked up some new water with wild rainbow trout in it…and that is a good thing. George didn’t have to do this, but he did and we appreciate it.

Another champion of conservation, Teddy Roosevelt led the cause that created much of our protected national parks system here in the United States. We have so many beautiful places protected by these initiatives that we get enjoy for generations. It took vision, courage, and tenacity to get these things done.

Thanks Teddy. Thanks Beatrix. Thanks George. It is people like you that make the world a little better place for the rest of us because of your extra effort, generosity, and willingness to share. We should all be thinking out of the box like that…me included. You think about that. TL

Shakers and Fakers

As I was pondering what to write about this month (or more aptly put, what to rant about…albeit randomly), a couple of things came to mind. I was in a discussion recently with a dear friend, debating some issue that we were divided on. I can’t even remember what the issue was, but what I do remember is being profoundly struck by the thought of how intellectually lazy my friend’s position was. He was basically regurgitating what he had heard somewhere else, without even thinking through the issue. We all have lots of different perspectives on things and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, if we all thought exactly the same on everything, it would be a pretty boring world. A little healthy disagreement is a key component of our democratic values. It makes the engine go. However, you need to understand what you believe and why you believe it and be able to share that with others. Think!

What do I mean by being intellectually lazy? Don’t just read or listen to someone else’s position and “re-pontificate” that. Process what they shared with you, do a little research, some reflection, chase it all with a little single malt and a Partagas, and arrive at your own conclusions. If your perspective matches theirs, then all the mo’ better. Think for yourself. Think out of the box. Just because the Post Dispatch, the Chicago Tribune, or KMOX says it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s so. Everybody has their personal “operating software” and filters information through that. We have our agenda, our spin, our angle, if you will. There is nothing wrong with that as long as we stay true to ourselves. Some of the most innovative ideas driving change have come from thinking out of the box. The Paradox!

Case in point – our club is a proponent of catch and release fishing. I totally support this position, especially for wild fish. However, we have a very interesting predicament out west regarding the Wild Pacific Salmon. Purchasing and eating Wild Pacific Salmon instead of Atlantic Salmon may very well save the fish. Why? There is a need to create an “economic value” for the fish. An influx of farm raised Atlantic Salmon has wreaked havoc on the wild fish. The fish that escape compete with wild salmon and steelhead and the fish farms spread disease and parasites among other things. Whether you like it or not, in a land where free enterprise and capitalism rule, money talks and everything else walks. So, to save these wonderful fish, we need to eat them. By choosing to do this, we can ensure that we will have plentiful wild salmon runs in the future. Economic viability drives the dollars to the protection of this species. Trout Unlimited has backed this initiative and if you really think about it, this makes complete sense. By supporting the effort with your own pocketbook, you can drive incentive for the government to make a good decision. If you are interested in this issue, see the Winter 2007 Issue of Trout (TU’s magazine).

While I am on thinking, I have one more thing for you to think about. We are not going to allow “stinkin’ thinkin’” around here. If you have an idea to improve things, get involved. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Take a stand. Do something to change things. Quit your belly-aching and take action. All talk…no action. Does that sound like anybody that you know? Don’t be one of them. Are you a shaker or a faker? You think about that. TL

Winning the Rat Race?

Do you ever find yourself tiring of the rat race? Here is a thought to ponder (albeit and random thought!) – if you win the rat race, you are still a rat. Congratulations! Many of us got into fly fishing to relax and enjoy ourselves in those rare and valuable moments when we carve out time to recreate. I know I did. So, my point this month is to encourage all of you to chill out…relax…slow down…or to quote that great rock band of days gone by, The Eagles, “take it easy”. By the way, did you see that the Eagles are reuniting and recording an album (oops, I meant CD, or digital download, or…I am showing my era)? What goes around comes around…the more things change, the more they stay the same.

If you are worried that the world is passing you by, go ahead and let it. If you will wait one revolution, you will have caught up. Sometimes the insanity of the pace of life can exhaust you. What have you really given up by letting go and setting your own tempo. Not much. Have you given up a television with a flatter screen, a bigger screen, a higher definition, or a better surround sound system? You can have it. Have you given up a bigger house, with a bigger yard, more maintenance, higher property tax bills, and increased insurance payments? You can have that too. Have you given up a high performance vehicle with on board computers, electronic everything, and dealer maintenance fees that feel more like bondage than service? You can even have that. The more stuff you have the more complicated your life gets. In fact, you never own your stuff, your stuff owns you.

So, what can we do about it? You can remember that life is an open road…it is the greatest story never told. It is your journey to define. You can be who you want and you can do what you want. If you don’t like where you are at and who you are, you can redefine yourself. There is no-one to blame but yourself. Take a stand and be who you want to be. That is the beauty of our lives. Each and every day is a new day. You are given a day to take stock and count your blessings. You have a day to make your own list of things to do and then attack them. Or, do nothing at all. Your choice…you decide. Go Zen and take on some good karma.

Last month I talked about some New Year’s resolutions. This month I am making one more resolution…that I will never make another resolution again. So, as I write this column, I am drinking a beer and smoking a cigar in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. Do I have other things to do? Yes. Paint a room, caulk a shower, clean a garage, organize the basement, pay some bills, and on and on and on. But, I am not doing any of them. And, when I get finished with this column and I take that last swig of beer and the final puff on my cigar, I am going to sit down at the tying bench a tie a few flies as I mentally plot my next fishing trip. Yes…the important things in life are what I will be doing.

It is all about your priorities and I am redoing mine as I enter into a new year. Won’t you join me? You think about that. TL

You Better Damn Well Make it a Happy New Year!

Absolutely unbelievable…another year has passed. I am going to have to participate in that old cliché – Happy New Year! It is a fresh start for all of us and no matter how crappy (not to be confused with crappie, the fish) your 2006 was, you always have a chance to start anew. If you had a spectacular 2006, be careful, it might be your turn for a few challenges. Smile, I am just kidding. Any which way, enjoy your journey down the river of life in this upcoming year.

Now for the resolutions…I thought we might take a different angle on this and learn from one of our most beloved animals – the dog. The best dog I ever had, a German Short Hair named Speckle, died this last year. I already miss him profoundly. He was an amazing friend and companion. Here are some random thoughts and lessons we can take from the Dog (not the Bounty Hunter, but Man’s Best Friend) in 2007. These lessons are in his honor.
Never pass up an opportunity to go for a joy ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it is in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they have invaded your territory.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Eat and drink with gusto and enthusiasm.
Be loyal to friends and family.
Never pretend to be something you are not.
If you want what lies buried, dig until you find it.

Amazing what you can learn from an animal. I wish you all a wonderful 2007…make it a great one…you think about that. TL