I was out fishing this past week, by myself, in a remote area on an Ozark stream, all by myself and thoroughly enjoying the solitude. I ran into deer, eagles, raccoons, wild turkey, some muskrat, and even had the good fortune of acquainting myself with a few wild fish. It was a well needed day out; a mental health outing, an attitude adjustor, nourishment for my soul. I had been plagued by cabin fever like most everyone else and really needed to make the time. It was a cold day, but I was dressed for it and the cold weather gave me a good excuse to tap my flask of sipping whiskey for warmth. Life was good…really good.
Except for one small problem – no-one has ever confused me with being the sharpest tool in the shed and I have also had a notorious reputation as an aggressive wader when fly fishing. My problem is my inability to focus on more than one thing at a time. When I start seeing fishy water, I head toward it and “Katy, bar the door!” What happens after that is anybody’s guess and on more occasions than I care to admit, I have put myself in a “less than ideal” situation. So…back to my recent fishing outing…the temperature was around 25 degrees (which is fine if you are dry and dressed appropriately) and the water was up due to the recent snow and rain. Even though the water levels were a few feet up, it was fishable and wade-able (for those of you intelligent enough to know your limits). I was wading toward the bank and the riverbed started coming up and I assumed (you know the old adage about assuming…I achieved it) that it would continue that way. However, there was a big hole between the bank and me and I waded in over the top of my waders and, whoosh, water down to my toes and up through my panty hose (well, my skivvies, actually). I was baptized and achieved the status of “dumb-ass”. My mother would not be proud and my wife was furious with me when I got home. I had to walk several miles back to my car and was a little chilly when I got there. Cranking the heat on the way home and a little McDonald’s coffee went a long way. The hot shower back at the ranch saved me. I survived to tell the tale.
This is not the first time I had made this mistake and I have a sneaking suspicion that it will not be the last. I have a reputation among my fishing buddies for doing the foolish and I think they enjoy laughing at me and not with me. I am starting to rethink my wading practices. I heard a story about Lee Wulff swimming in full waders to prove that you wouldn’t drown, but I don’t think I am half the man that Mr. Wulff was and I really don’t want to die on the river…at least not yet.
Which brings me to my random thought and point of my story – I think wading in over my (our) waders is a metaphor for life. It is something that we just shouldn’t do and if we do, it may have some very serious consequences. I was just reading a story in the news about some of the mortgage market collapse due to our pending recession and the potential for a government bail-out. The banks made plenty of stupid (reckless) loans and buyers got greedy. They featured a couple that had purchased a home that cost more than a million ($1,000,000) dollars when they both had high flying jobs when they purchased the house. One of them lost their job and they can no longer afford to make the payment. A proposed bail-out program would give them a break and forgive part of their note to “save” them and help them keep their house. Here is my proposed program – “DON”T BUY A HOUSE YOU CAN”T AFFORD!” or put in us fishing folks language – “DON’T WADE IN OVER YOUR WADERS!”. I have no sympathy for those folks…travel light and only buy that which you can afford. I think they need to hit up a rich uncle or something (and his name is not Sam). Now, you might be thinking, “Ty, you sound like a hypocrite to me…you wade aggressively all the time…at your own peril on occasion.” True…I do. But you won’t hear me crying for help and I will own up to the stupidity of my own decisions. If I had a nickel for every time I have made a stupid mistake, I would be able to pay cash for that million dollar home. But I don’t and I won’t. You think about that…TL.
Except for one small problem – no-one has ever confused me with being the sharpest tool in the shed and I have also had a notorious reputation as an aggressive wader when fly fishing. My problem is my inability to focus on more than one thing at a time. When I start seeing fishy water, I head toward it and “Katy, bar the door!” What happens after that is anybody’s guess and on more occasions than I care to admit, I have put myself in a “less than ideal” situation. So…back to my recent fishing outing…the temperature was around 25 degrees (which is fine if you are dry and dressed appropriately) and the water was up due to the recent snow and rain. Even though the water levels were a few feet up, it was fishable and wade-able (for those of you intelligent enough to know your limits). I was wading toward the bank and the riverbed started coming up and I assumed (you know the old adage about assuming…I achieved it) that it would continue that way. However, there was a big hole between the bank and me and I waded in over the top of my waders and, whoosh, water down to my toes and up through my panty hose (well, my skivvies, actually). I was baptized and achieved the status of “dumb-ass”. My mother would not be proud and my wife was furious with me when I got home. I had to walk several miles back to my car and was a little chilly when I got there. Cranking the heat on the way home and a little McDonald’s coffee went a long way. The hot shower back at the ranch saved me. I survived to tell the tale.
This is not the first time I had made this mistake and I have a sneaking suspicion that it will not be the last. I have a reputation among my fishing buddies for doing the foolish and I think they enjoy laughing at me and not with me. I am starting to rethink my wading practices. I heard a story about Lee Wulff swimming in full waders to prove that you wouldn’t drown, but I don’t think I am half the man that Mr. Wulff was and I really don’t want to die on the river…at least not yet.
Which brings me to my random thought and point of my story – I think wading in over my (our) waders is a metaphor for life. It is something that we just shouldn’t do and if we do, it may have some very serious consequences. I was just reading a story in the news about some of the mortgage market collapse due to our pending recession and the potential for a government bail-out. The banks made plenty of stupid (reckless) loans and buyers got greedy. They featured a couple that had purchased a home that cost more than a million ($1,000,000) dollars when they both had high flying jobs when they purchased the house. One of them lost their job and they can no longer afford to make the payment. A proposed bail-out program would give them a break and forgive part of their note to “save” them and help them keep their house. Here is my proposed program – “DON”T BUY A HOUSE YOU CAN”T AFFORD!” or put in us fishing folks language – “DON’T WADE IN OVER YOUR WADERS!”. I have no sympathy for those folks…travel light and only buy that which you can afford. I think they need to hit up a rich uncle or something (and his name is not Sam). Now, you might be thinking, “Ty, you sound like a hypocrite to me…you wade aggressively all the time…at your own peril on occasion.” True…I do. But you won’t hear me crying for help and I will own up to the stupidity of my own decisions. If I had a nickel for every time I have made a stupid mistake, I would be able to pay cash for that million dollar home. But I don’t and I won’t. You think about that…TL.
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