Last month I missed my column deadline because I was on a fishing trip with some good friends. I totally zoned out on the date (which is a good thing) and by the time I got back to civilization it was too late. For many of us fisher folk, one of the common denominators of our experiences include a good, cold beer at the end of the day. Some camp coffee to kick-off and a barley and hops beverage to celebrate the day’s end makes for great bookends.Like so many things in life, we all have very different tastes and preferences. Some like food spicy, others mild. Some like blondes, others brunettes, or maybe even a redhead (or something in between all of the above). Some like hot weather; some like it cold…some like rain, others like it dry. Some like their coffee strong, others weak. Some folks like fishing for bass (the coarse fish, as the snooty among us refer to it) and some like fishing for the small scales (trout)…saltwater, fresh water (budget determines some of this)…worms, lures, or flies…and so on and so forth. Different strokes for different folks makes for an interesting tapestry…and as I have mentioned before, makes for a better trip around this ball we call earth. And, that my friends, brings me to BEER.
If you are a beer drinker (and you know who you are!), you have certain likes and dislikes (or degrees thereof). Some like the Anheuser Busch family of beers (also now known as Belgium beer, not to be confused with Belgium-style ales) and some like Miller (now a South African company). Within those families you have the Bud and Bud Light fight (for my palette, Bud Light is the poorest excuse for beer known to man – the AB attorneys can contact my attorney – Sal Schmuck – if need be). Coors (now a Canadian company) used to be smuggled across the border in car trunks (what a special and exciting time that was for us). Others like their microbrews (my preference…and maybe the only real American beer). These loyalties are bonds that compete with allegiances to political parties, union affiliations, nationalities, regions, sports teams (Cubs vs. Cards, etc. – and by the way, the Cubs suck), chocolate preferences (white, milk, and dark – and even here, semi-sweet, bittersweet, and extra dark), and everything in between. So, we have our loyalties and at the end of the day, you are allowed to drink any damn thing you want to (until the government tells you otherwise…or taxes it until you can’t afford it). What you do with your money is your business.
Which brings me to my point…because I care about my readership (does anyone really read this column? I have no idea, but if you are out there, I have your back!) and want to help you save some money in this time of economic turmoil. You can’t be deprived of your beer, if nothing else. I want you to think about making the most of your money. Beer costs money. Water is free (unless you pay a buck a bottle for it…I have already randomly ranted about the evils of bottled water in previous columns, so I will not do it here…what you waste your money on is your business). For many years, we had nothing but regular beer and all of the variations. Near beer (non-alcoholic) has had various incarnations and reincarnations (even LA Beer, low alcohol beer) without much success. Light beer stormed on the scene with Miller Lite (Tastes Great! Less Filling! Maybe Both? Neither? Depends on your taste buds)…then speaking of buds, out came Bud Light (another Belgium beer, not to be confused with Belgium-style ale) and after spending a gamillion dollars on advertising has become the number one beer in America. I thought we had hit beer bottom (or is that beer belly?). But, NO!
The masterminds of Beer Universe met secretly in the bottom of a Free Mason Temple, did séances, and solicited advice from the Dark Side. They got approval from the John Birch Society and a final sign-off from the International Conspiracy Triumvirate and were allowed to pour water in leftover beer and market it as a healthy alternative to the existing beers on the market. As a result, we were exposed to Michelob Ultra and Bud Select. Less than 100 calories! Take half a beer, add water, and market it. Not to be outdone, Miller rolled out MGD64…64 calories…take half of a half beer, add a little more water, and market it. Again, not to be outdone, that Belgium company, Anheuser Busch took half of a half beer with water added and added a little more water and chiseled those calories down to 55 – the new BudSelect55. . Most amazing of all, is that people actually buy that stuff…and it is not cheap. Coming up next…beer flavored water with negative calories. You will loose weight when you drink it.
What exactly is my point (and do I really need to have one)? Tip of the day…if you like the “lighter beers” on the market, save yourself some serious money…buy what’s on sale and just add water. As for me, I am going to buy the good stuff and drink less of it. It is the least I can do for myself. You think about that…TL
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